She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
