The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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