3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now