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Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
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