Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.