tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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