We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
