this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
