I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
