I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
