Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
