Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
birth control should be required to get into college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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