My friends, they love my intelligence
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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