How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize