Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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