oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize