Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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