So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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