HIV tests are more positive than that guy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
