I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
