im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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