Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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