I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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