Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
