I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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