why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
