i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
