How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize