Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
