Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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