I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
do herpes really smell.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize