So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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