Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Randomize
