there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
