if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize