ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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