fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
