Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
