No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I just blew my weed a kiss
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
