Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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