What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
