What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
