Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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