He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
