Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
