dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
