You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
