Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
