How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
