Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
