Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
