I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
