I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
