So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
