Well douche your snatch and let's go!
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize