The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize