btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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