I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
