I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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