Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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